A Farewell Note

The place was dark as far as I could see but it was warm too. I don’t know whether it was because of the viscous liquid I was floating on. It was completely dark and some big tube was attached to me through which I was force fed. The torture was too much for me to take. I didn’t know what curse I was laid upon. What big mistake that I had done for which I was tortured like this. Nothing was in my hands. I could remember nothing. I was helpless. Nevertheless I had a steely resolve to somehow survive and come out of that dazed abysmal mountain that I was locked into.

I desperately tried to break free from the shackles but I was not in my control. I could hardly move my limbs or legs. Once in a while I used to try as hard as I could but finally I settle for slumber. When I was suddenly awakened by some noise I opened my eyes. The whole mountain shook. I too shook with the mountain. I was again floating in the viscous liquid. Thanks to the bubble by which I was covered without which I would have drowned in the liquid. But I wanted to come out of the bubble. Though I was safe inside the bubble there was no way by which I could be free. I have been locked like that since time immemorial.

It was that time of the day when the mountain shakes the most. I shook along with the mountain. I tried hard to get hold of something but I could not. But wait! Wow I moved my hands. I moved my hands and also beat my legs that day. It felt great. I moved it every now and then to see if it really was happening. I was overwhelmed with joy. I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t try to escape then. I was happily shaking my hands and legs.

Then it was again a usual procedure. I felt the first tremor, when the mountain shrinks it almost touches my bubble. At first I was afraid whether my bubble would break and I would fall in the liquid but as it didn’t happen for a long time I was sure that I’m not going to be harmed. The mountain was just playing tricks. The mountain shrank and expanded, for a few times, in process touched my bubble and in turn me. Now as I could move my hands and feet, out of instinct I tried to push the mountain which was surging towards me. It was the first time I felt the mountain. It was not as hard as I thought. When the mountain again and again shrank in size I desperately tried to push it with my feet. After sometime it stopped as expected.

After sometime I came to know that I couldn’t break the bubble too. I looked around the place and carefully analyzed the situation. I was locked in the bubble but the bubble was semitransparent so I could look around. The mountain had various tube like structures around it. But as it was dark I couldn’t find which is which. I tried to trace the tube by which I was force fed. My eyes hovered around the tube but after a point it got entangled in a huge mess. I couldn’t find out the path. For a while I thought if somehow I could catch hold of the tube I could escape. But I wasn’t sure what perils I had to undergo. The darkness was the main criteria. At least I was safe at that place. I wasn’t sure whether I would be safe if I go out of that place.  I was dazed and confused. I had to decide whether to be safe and remain there for the rest of my life or go out of the mountain and see what it’s like.

I don’t know why I was thinking. I was curious for no reason. Why should I go out when I don’t face any problem there where the situation was perfect for me to eat and sleep? But I didn’t like this option of eating and sleeping. I was not allowed to do things on my own. The one cursed tube continues to rule me. I was terribly angry. On one such day when I desperately wanted to get rid of the tube I tried to push it with my legs. I could barely reach it. But still I continued to push and push. Once or twice my legs hit even the surface of the mountain but as the bubble around me was not steady I could not target the tube properly.

After lashing at the tube for some time I settled and slowly aimed for the tube, raised my legs slowly to reach the tube. Just when I was about to touch the tube the mountain again began to shrink. That made me terribly angry. I hovered around the bubble and started hitting all sides of the mountain vigorously. Again and again the mountain shrank in size. That one time I was not afraid. I continued my act.

I couldn’t kick it continuously as this time the mountain began to shrink even further. I was pushed deep into the viscous liquid. Once or twice the mountain shrank deeply and tried to push in the liquid but I resisted. Yes I did the contrary to what usually I do. I always wanted to escape out of the mountain but when it started playing tricks against me the first thing I wanted to do was stay safe. I somehow felt safe inside the bubble.

At that time my energy was no match to that of mountain. After all what could a weakling like me do against nature? But I didn’t give up. I kept on kicking my legs and hands. Then came the biggest quake. The mountain shrank so much and there was so much pressure from somewhere because of which my bubble broke and I was pushed in the viscous liquid. I tried to come out of it but the pressure pushed me down even further. The tube through which I was force fed coiled around my neck. I gasped for breath while going down.

The viscous liquid spurted out through an opening which I was trying to figure out since long, through which I was going down. All I could see was white space outside that opening. I fell from the whole with the tube around my neck and the viscous liquid around my body. I fell outside, down on the white surface which was there. It was soft and I was wrapped around it by some aliens.

The shock was too much, it made me immobile. Everything was alien to me. It was the first time I saw light which was directly hitting me. The white surface was soft but I felt warm inside the mountain. Out of all these big, big creatures were the one whom I was most afraid of. They were similar to me but were wearing something around their body and it was covering their face too. They removed the tube which was coiled around my neck after some difficulty. Then they turned me upside down, removed the white soft surface and something cold touched my back and rubbed. I was afraid. I thought they were trying to kill me. When they hit me after rubbing me I got sure that I was indeed being killed. I didn’t know what to do. I came out of the shock, kicked them furiously and started to cry. Yes it was the first time I cried. Some liquid came out of my eyes. It was not viscous like the one in mountain but it was bitter. Ewww.

After making me cry they all laughed. Such sadists they were. I was terribly angry for it was them who had tried all the while to break the mountain and get me out so that they’ll have this little pleasure of torturing me. Then they covered me by white surface again and took me to a figure whose body was warm. I felt as if I was in the mountain. I felt at home when that figure embraced me, kissed me all the while crying and did something with lips; I think it’s called smile. I too did the same. Then I heard all of hooded figures giggling so I stopped smiling.

Another alien entered the place. That alien too had white material around its body and in turn took me and embraced too. But there wasn’t any material covering the figures face. I felt as if I saw a ‘big’ me. It felt warm so I again stopped crying and settled for my slumber. I was too tired for all the heroics that I did that day to stay alive. The figure which kissed me slept after seeing all this and as soon as I saw that figure sleeping I too slept. Before closing my eyes I saw the place where I had first fallen and bid farewell to the place where I was there as long as I could remember.

Thom karuvil irunthom,
When we were in the mother’s uterus,

Kavalai indri kannmuudi kidanthom,
We were very happy, closing our eyes.

Thom tharaiyil vizhunthom,
Then, when we came down to the earth,

Vizhunthuvudan kann thookam tholainthom.
As soon as we fell, we lost our sleep.

Appothu appothu ponne thookam namm kanghalille,
The sleep we lost then is still in our eyes.

Eppothu eppothu vanthu serum vidai thonalaiye.
We don’t know when that sleep will come again.

That’s when I lost my sleep and that’s the farewell I regret doing it.

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 12 (Final Chapter)

The drivers’ eyes and my eyes were fixed upon each other. Both our vehicles came close to each other. I could neither hear the gun shots nor the truck sound. My whole concentration was on the door. I didn’t know what was his instruction. He too was heading straight on. If we hit them at this speed they’ll surely die. At least Jeeva and I would die if not for Mega and Alex.

After doing a quick math instead of going by instinct and turning left I did a right turn. It was an emergency turn. I couldn’t avoid the jeep fully. Our front tire ran over the jeeps front left tier but somehow the truck stabilized.  The Jeep did a quick halt with screeching tires.

I turned back to see whether anything had happened to anyone. Unluckily for us they were all right. I went in full speed into the jungle. I didn’t know where I was going but I didn’t want to reduce the speed and risk our lives.

“Maen what did you just do maen?” asked Mega.

“What do you think I did? Circus? I’m trying to bloody save your @$$,” shouted I. Jeeva laughed.

“Why loser? Why the hell are you laughing for everything?”

“When you are pushed to the wall….” Started Jeeva.

“Enough of your Dravid fanaticism.”

“Hey they are again behind us,” said Jeeva after he saw head lights falling on our truck.

I turned back to see. Indeed they were. I literally stood up and put full weight on the accelerator. But poor thing how long could it bear the grunt of me. The engine choked and the truck turned off.

Thanks to the slope we were at least going with the momentum. In the state of delirium my friends hardly noticed the engine noise. The jeep was now somewhat far away because we were sliding even faster than the beginning. The slope got increased.

I pressed the brakes hard but the vehicle couldn’t be sloped. The slope was constantly leading our truck to the bottom.

“Dude press the f*****g break,” shouted Jeeva who was almost at the tip of his seat launching forward with the gravity.

“Dude I’m standing on the break,” said I. I was standing on the break. The truck was now 45 degree face front. I could hear even Mega and Alex shouting.

The truck tilted even further and went down and further speed. I had put my whole weight on the truck but still it didn’t stop.

“Hey this place looks familiar,” shouted Jeeva deeply thinking when we were this deep in misery.

“Yea you’d have come here for honeymoon with your girl in your dreams”

He ignored my comment and continues, “Is it a déjà vu?”

“What vu?”

“Oh my….”

“Whattttttttttttttttt,” I asked with truck still rolling forward in slope.

“We’re back to square. See the tunnel there. It’s the same place where the whole thriller story started,”

“Oh oh”

“But only difference we are going to die this time”

“Thank you for announcing that”

“See there is a big hole in the sewer and thanks to the rain. It’s washing everything that’s getting on it. It’ll surely wash us away and our bodies will be in drainage man”

“That’s consoling too”

“They can’t even spot our bodies”

“What difference does it make? You’re similar to the smug’s color there. Ha ha,” I had my last laugh and the truck directly fell into the sewer. I had closed my eyes and prepared to die. That’s when Jeeva pushed me outside.

I caught hold of the branch there. Jeeva jumped and caught hold of my pants. Seeing us do the monkey stuff Alex and Mega too jumped from inside. Till Mega’s jump it was okay. Once he clung on to Alex who in turn was hanging holding Jeeva’s legs my hips began to hurt so badly. Further my pant was drifting too.

The water below was running at such high speed. We could barely hear each other. That has been the highlight of the trip. We always had to shout out loud.

“Loser you’re going to strip me naked. At least I wish to die without shame,” said I to Jeeva.

“@$$ hole. I saved your @$$ and now you’re blaming me” said Jeeva.

“My foot. Why did you push me and jump on the same side. You could have jumped on the other side”

“Oh ya. I didn’t think about it”

We were in exact opposite order of handling. The heaviest guy Mega was at the bottom, the guy with good physique Alex was above him, a guy with a normal physique Jeeva was above him and the leanest of all, me was at the top holding everyone.

“Okay listen now and listen good,” said Alex. We intently heard what he said.

“If we keep on hanging like this we’ll surely rip Dreamers lower part,” before he could finish I shouted, “how dare you call me Dreamer?”

“Dreamer… Dreamer… Dreamer…” started shouting all the three.

“Okay I give up,” said I.

“Ha ha. Okay listen. I don’t want Vikram’s death to be so horrifying. So let’s swing across to the tree there,” said Alex and pointed out with his eyes to the right tree. We all turned back to see where it was.

“Once Mega catches hold of it. I’ll leave Jeeva’s hand and we both could rise up. Deshi Deshi bahsara bahsara”

Mega started to move his weight to the right and left and started swinging. First he swung then Alex then Mega then me too. Jeeva was pulling my pant even more down and in process ripping off my lower body.

“Dude I could see the cleavage,” shouted Jeeva. I thought of kicking his balls but didn’t have the energy to. And in one swift motion Mega caught hold of the tree. And at that exact time the jeep came rumbling towards us. Just as Alex left Jeeva’s leg and caught hold of Mega the jeep fell into the sewer and got washed off. Alex held Mega’s leg and clinged on to him. I felt very light after a long time.

All of us saw them being washed away along with the lorry and their jeep in the sewer all the while hanging from the tree. Our priority shifted to watching them being washed away than getting on to our feet. After we saw them getting through the hole we got up slowly. Alex pulled himself up along with Mega and helped us climb.

Once on the ground we looked at each other and saw how shabby we were. In the towering rain we slowly climbed the slope by holding trees and got on to the highway. It was pitch dark there and was pouring down heavily. Only when we got on to the road we could see the rain drops splashing the road could find the magnitude of the rain.

We sat there on the road for an hour or so until a bus came. Seeing us waiting the driver stopped the bus and we got on it. Though our dress were drenched we could hardly felt anything. We dozed off.  Only when the bus halted near the toll gate to ECR I got up and hurriedly woke the other three fellas.

“We can’t go like this to our home man. We need to get proper dress,” said I to the rest of them. They agreed and we got down.

It was early morning and sun was about to rise. We had to wait at least a good 2 to 3 hours before we could buy the dress. Thanks to our wallets. In spite of all the commotion it still was there in our pockets. After getting down at the toll gate we walked towards the beach. There was small tea shop near the beach. We bought four teas and went sat there in the beach.

“Maen I don’t drink tea man,” said Mega.

“Then do you have tequila to drink,” I mocked Mega for which everyone laughed.

“No man actually I have this one said he and held a small vodka bottle in his hand”

“What the f**k,” cried all of us in unison and I said, “from where the hell did you get this one,”

“While we were going down the slope I thought before dying let me at least taste one of the stuff for which the whole fight was for,” said Mega and made us all laugh.

“Fatso. Ummah,” I kissed him and opened the bottle. We all took a sip and finally Mega took a sip and croaked.

He kept on croaking and was trying to say something but couldn’t. Meanwhile a fisherman turned on the radio so loud from his slum near which we were sitting.

“A group of wanted thugs bodies were found in the sewer near Pondicherry by pass along with the lorry by which they were trying to steal a diamond worth two billion dollars. It is believed that the original African diamond too would have been washed away by the sewage”

After croaking out hard Mega spitted something and held his throat in relief. We went close to see what it was. We all looked at each other in shock and then let out a hearty laugh. It was the thing that we were chased for; it was the thing that was announced just now in the news. It was how it ended. THE DIAMOND.

THE END

P.S: And we set off to the paradise city… Cya…

The Guy Stuff – Beyond Chapter (Fatso’s Page)

“Yo boys and gals
its me and us
all parents fuzz
and relatives cuzz
but we always buzz
yo boys and gals…

Hey to you
hey to them
hey to everybody
hey to the one
hey Vikram
its M-E-G-A Mega for em”

Hey hey hey…. How are you fellas out there. Sorry for coming before climax and spoiling your story reading experience. Hey maen Vikram. Hope youis doing good. You know maen ‘m not much into writing but what to do G Waugh compelled me into writing this stuff about your guy stuff so I got to write somepin’. Don’t mind maenlemme directly do the talkin’ to ‘em.

Here we go… It was during 9^th standard. You remember maen? That you gave me lift in your scooty. Okay this guy might not be remembering. Here is the story of how we both became thickest of friends.

We regularly play cricket after school hours. It’s the only place where dreamer doesn’t dream. All the respect he got was because he was a brilliant cricket player. Nowadays he never talks about cricket. He doesn’t like the advent of T20. He thinks it has spoilt the game. Pretty old fashioned fella you see. He quit cricket for his studies and he thinks it’s the worst mistake he has ever done in his life. If you had read the Summer Camp you would have known his childhood story. Just that the climax is different. I don’t want to reveal more and hurt him because he gave me lift that day.

As I was saying, we play cricket every evening after our school hours. I usually go to the ground directly from school. Rest all go tohis home. Yes, the whole gang goes to their house to take stumps. Not only that. During cricket match almost the whole class used to stay at their home to watch matches. It was terrific. Oh I’m again losing the plot. Maen how do you keep the flow maen. My mind goes wary again and again.Duh!

What was I talking? Yea when every one of us was there at his home four or five people had scooty, kinetic Honda etc. Rest all had cycles. I didn’t have any. When people got on the bike as pillion nobody allowed me to get on their bike saying that their bike will get punctured. All laughed. And as usual I too laughed along with them and prepared to walk. That too I wasn’t this heavy at that time. I was 50Kgs less. While I was about to walk this guy came to me and said, “get on.” I was skeptical because I wasn’t sure whether a scooty could carry me so I said, “Is ‘kay dude.” He replied, “See ‘m not doing it to gain your confidence or anything. I don’t want us to waste time for you in the ground.” I smiled and got on to his scooty.

I genuinely knew that he didn’t want me to feel bad. This guy is caring especially when it comes to his friends but doesn’t tell it publicly. What else Maen? I don’t have much to say. You are the writer dude.

And ya as I say this I remember. He he. Call him writer dude and see his reaction. 😀 Epic 😀

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 11

We fell in the exact same place where our lorry was. We lost the men but we hurriedly got into the truck. Alex who had a gun in this hand said, “Vikram take the truck and go in the way we came. Try to get to Mega. I’ll go to the hole from where we dropped and as soon as I hear the sound of the truck I’ll shoot with my pistol and distract that weak fellow. You grab Mega and come back immediately. Is it clear?”

It was crystal clear indeed. Jeeva and I nodded. “But what if they come here and find you out?” I asked Alex.

“No they don’t know the way. Otherwise they would have found out the lorry without our help itself. Even if in case they find out I have pistol. I’ll try to manage. It’s now or never isn’t it?” winked Alex

“You’re THE MAN, man,” said I and hugged Alex.

“But…” Jeeva was apprehensive. Rightly so.

“It’s okay dude don’t worry about me. Save Mega. We all will get out of paradise city in style,” Alex comforted Jeeva.

“It’s not that we don’t want you to become hero. Give me the gun I’ll hold the fort,” said Jeeva.

“It’s okay you’re the real hero man,” said Alex for which I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why are you laughing @$$ hole?” asked Jeeva. Alex and I, we both spurted out laughing.

“Guys our life is at stake and you both are laughing. God! Thanks for giving me friends like these idiots,” I don’t know in what way Jeeva said that but I thanked god, for the first time, for the friends he has given to me.

“Ha ha. Okay Vikram, Jeeva all the best. Meet you at the other end,” said Alex and ran off into the tunnel.

I got behind the wheel and asked Jeeva to stay behind so that he could lift Mega easily. Well, even if not easily he could try at least to lift him.

I started the vehicle and observed that our head lights were broken but good for us the vehicle started so I hit the pedal and took the truck up from the canal. It required a lot of effort.

We sped through the forest. I wholly utilized my driving skills and drove the truck so rashly that it hit many branches on the way. The glass too broke and it was still raining so the cold wind along with rain drops were flashing on my face. I found it hard to drive but we were desperate to get out because we were the ones who are supposed to save the rest of the guys out there.

While we were about to get to the road we saw these people Mani and Co slowly getting up. They seemed to be hurt but as soon as they saw the lorry they got on the jeep and started chasing us.

“Dude they’re coming. Go fast” shouted Jeeva from behind.

“What do you think I’m driving.Concorde? It’s a bloody broken up lorry. I’ve put my whole weight on the accelerator and it’s still going like a snail,” I must say I was driving at 120 Kmph but at that juncture it was snails speed.

One we got on the road we sped even faster. The only proper thing in the truck, the side view mirror broke. I thought some twigs had fallen on it and it broke but only afraid Jeeva shouted I came to know the real reason, “F**k they are shooting man.”

I hit the pedal and drove even faster. I didn’t want to keep the truck in line as they could aim easily so kept moving the truck in and around. After that one shot they stopped shooting but they were closing in so fastly.

“Dude that leader guy is hitting the head on Chinaman for shooting. I guess they won’t shoot. Go fast?”

We couldn’t believe our luck so we went fast. The muddy road through which we came was to the left of us. I took a 90 degree turn in full speed. Jeeva, who was standing in behind fell down inside the truck by the force.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“My @$$,” said he and confirmed that he was alright.

I managed the vehicle from tumbling. All the bottles which were there at the back got shaken and stirred due the sudden turn. As soon as I turned I headed straight to the gate. They couldn’t turn as fast as I did. As it’s said a deer will always run faster than lion as deer is running for its life and lion for its prey. It was the same with us.

In a matter of seconds I went straight through the gate and went through the half broken door of the bungalow. As per the plan as soon as we dashed the door. Alex shot to the opposite side. Without knowing what was happening the short fellow looked here and there. Mega meanwhile was so tired. He was sleeping or was fainting in kneels down position.

I went towards the short fellow. He jumped out of the path to save his life. Otherwise I would have directly run him over. Jeeva bent low from behind and gave a hand to lift Mega. Mega opened his eyes after the gun shot and screeching of our tires.

Jeeva’s and Mega’s hand clasped each other and I slowed down slightly but still the vehicle was in motion. I couldn’t stop and take risk. In one swift motion Jeeva tried to lift Mega but the opposite happened and Jeeva fell down. I heard the thud and put my head through the window to see what happened and disaster had happened.

“Loser” I cursed him under my breath.

I tuned the lorry like a car. Did a full doughnut. Alex who was above jumped a good 20 feet right on the truck which was covered by dark military green cloth. His landing wasn’t as smooth as expected but he somehow managed and got into the truck. After taking a U-turn there I shoved open the other door to my left so that one among Jeeva or Mega could cling to it. I drove fast but by then they both were ready to jump into the truck. This time as Mega was more prepared Alex lifted him in one smooth motion. Jeeva made a mess out of the situation but somehow manage to cling on to the door.

The short fellow who had come out of the shock by then got up and suddenly started to shoot with his AK-47. Okay I don’t know whether it’s an AK-47 but it kept on firing rounds continuously so I guessed it was AK-47. For laymen like us any machine gun is AK-47.

“F**k maen this guy is shooting at us,” shouted Mega.

“Oh wow what a discovery,” remarked Jeeva sarcastically. And in the process made me laugh.

Jeeva replied, “Fatso after thriller now it’s an action film. Enjoy. Wohoo!”

I asked Jeeva, “What happened to you all of a sudden? Even your jokes seem to be funny.”

“There is no point in fearing now. Things can’t get worse. We’re in a stolen truck chased by thugs. Here is one idiot shooting at us,” he ducked when a bullet passed through him.

I sped straight through. When I saw the gate I could see a jeep hurrying towards us.  It was very close to gate. I hate to decide whether to apply brake or not. If I apply brake surely we’ll be caught and as they have the truck they’d kill us for sure. Evading them too didn’t seem to be an option. The gate had enough gap for only one lorry to go. With the jeep coming fast towards us I didn’t have an option. I went head on.

“Guys hold your breath,” I shouted.

The Stuff Ends tomorrow…

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 10

“God! That’s why I said we should have brought at least the cell phone. Now see we are doomed,” lamented Jeeva.

“You first shut up cry baby,” said I.

“It’s all because of you. You were the one who planned these entire thing and all these guys just nod whatever you say. If anyone would have listened to me would all this have happened?”

“Jeeva what has happened has happened. Let’s think what to do?” said Alex

“You again. Why didn’t you tell the lorry location? We could have left by now” asked Jeeva.

“As if they’d have left us. Didn’t you hear them? As soon as they get the lorry they’ll finish us. We have only time only till they get hold of the lorry. So we have to think. Think quick.”

“We’re doomed.”

“You shut up and don’t be pessimistic. Allow us to think at least,” I shouted back to Jeeva which made him keep quiet finally.

“Maen we coulda at least had a drink if its that’s rare a stuff in the lorry,” said Mega which made us all give a nervous smile.

“Now it has become a true thriller story. Hah.” Said I in despair.

All I remember was we were thinking. But when I opened up my eyes we saw all of us cuddling to Mega and sleeping. It was so darn cold there. I couldn’t move my limbs. Added to that our dress were wet so it all had got frozen. I could see ice crystals around my friends pace and sensed that even my face would be like that. I somehow tried very hard and woke them up.

“I feel like my blood has thickened. I could feel pain in my heart,” said Jeeva.

“At least you could feel that I couldn’t feel a thing,” said Alex.

Suddenly one of the thugs opened the door with a force and same dim yellow light flashed inside the room. One by one they lifted us and threw us out. They couldn’t lift Mega and he was too tired to get up on his own so they rolled him and brought him to the place.

“Get on your knees,” said Mani.

We tried so hard but couldn’t. It was still dark or rather it had become dark yet again. Yes we had slept the whole day. Then one of the thugs shoved us from behind which made us kneel. Being an engineer until and unless someone fires up my @$$ I couldn’t move. With so much effort we got up but due to tiredness our head strung low.

“Look at me you morons. Where is the truck? We searched everywhere but couldn’t find,” said Mani.

“Sir seriously we don’t know sir only the police must know,” said Alex.

Someone hit him at the back of the head, “Which police you’re talking about you bunch of losers?” asked the policeman whom we had encountered before. So he too knows.

“Isn’t he dead yet?”  asked Alex.

“Dues ex machina,” I whispered.

“Who’s he?” asked Jeeva.

“Maen who’s this new guy maen?” asked Mega.

Unfortunately among four of us Jeeva has a rough and loud voice so the policeman heard him, “Are you asking who am i?”

Jeeva blinked.

“Sir yes sir. Sir no sir,” the policeman imitated Jeeva’s military accent which he used before.Jeeva still looked at him startled. Mega too was looking at him with his mouth wide open.

The policeman continued, “Don’t you know me? Hmmm? Don’t you know me?” he started shouting furiously and came very close to Jeeva.  Jeeva closed his eyes pulled his head back saying, “yes sir, yes sir I remember.”

“That’s better,” he said and turned back to Mani.

It didn’t take much of a guess to know that the policeman too was part of their gang.

“So you guys lied to us,” said Mani and continued pacing around us. We could hear his footsteps clearly. We were sure that he was up to something.

Suddenly he fired a shot which made us all shriek. It was just in betweenMega’s legs. He got terrified and his eyes were bulgy seeing the smoke from the barrel. The thugs were unmoved. It was visible that they were a tough lot. Even the guy whom we thought is a weakling – who took the liquors from the store – was stone faced.

Seeing him terrified. He pointed the guy directly behind the head of Mega. Alex interrupted, “Sir we’re extremely sorry. Please forgive us we’ll show you where the lorry is. We know where we left.”

“Hmm you’ve saved me a bullet. But I don’t believe you anymore. Hey chotu keep this motu here as back up. If he moves shoot him,” said Mani. “You too…” he said and signaled to another person.

“Rest of you come with us,” said he and we three left with Mani, Gopal, Policeman and the Chinaman. We were loaded in a big jeep with camouflaged with the darkness outside. We quietly were sitting in the jeep.

The forest on the entrance side was thick than where we left the lorry. Alex was sitting in the front to give away directions with the Gopal driving and Mani to the other side of him. As there was two twoseaters in opposite direction behind, we were sitting first from the front seat. Me behind the driver and Jeeva behind Mani. To my left was the policeman and the Chinaman was sitting to the right of Jeeva. And all our hands were tied with hand cuff.

Without turning the head Mani talked to the policeman, “it’s all because of these losers. Otherwise we could have sent the consignment by now and things would have been smooth.” Damn! When will he stop calling us losers?

“It’s okay Mani sir. What’s life without a little thrill,” Hey wait it’s my dialogue.

We went to the place where the policeman caught us. He said, “seeing our company logo I thought you were there and I casually stopped the vehicle but only after I saw these guys I came to know something has happened. But before I could call you these idiots directly came to your place.”

“Ha ha,” Mani gave a laugh making us look like dumb @$$esand turned to Alex, “Now where to go?”

Alex pointed towards the forest. “What?In there?” asked Mani. “Yes sir,” said Alex.

“You’re not playing games. Are you?” asked Mani. Alex replied in negative.

When the jeep took a left to get into the forest it jerked. Alex used the moment to get hold of Mani’s gun and pointed directly at his crotch.

“If anyone moves I’ll blow the balls out of your master,” said Alex. To support him I used my cuff to strangle the driver and keep him in check. But to our disaster a wild buffalo came in the middle so he applied sudden brake which made me to pull him behind by his neck. He lost control of the steering wheel and turned it to the right in instinct.

Alex fired a shot in air which made the whole pack of buffaloes go wild. The driver as he made a sudden movement hit a buffalo and fell into the slope. We all rolled down the slope. Alex, Jeeva and I jumped immediately from the Jeep but those guys being heavy couldn’t jump as soon as us.

The Stuff Continues…

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 9

Before I could react the lorry went into a big slope. We all were dragged to the bottom. The heavy impact made Mega and Jeeva get back to their senses.

“Where am I?” asked Jeeva.

“Hmmm. Las Vegas. Where do you think we are. We’re deep down in a stinking trench.” Said I.

“Maen!” Mega cried in anguish.

“Shhh!” said Alex getting to his feet. Though our lorry was damaged it was still on its wheels. It was pitch black there and our lorry was right in the middle of something like an empty sewage drainer.

Alex who was keenly listening asked me, “Can you hear that?”

“I could hear only you,” I replied honestly.

“Let’s get in there and check out what it is,” said Alex pointing out to the cave like structure near our lorry.

I was apprehensive, “are you sure?”

“And you call me loser,” mocked Jeeva.

“Okay @$$ hole lets go,” I said though I was a bit skeptical.

We ventured into the cave slowly. We didn’t have cell phone so we didn’t have least bit of light. The area where our lorry fell seemed to be a place where the hood of the sewage drainer was broken. Because to either side of it there was a cave like structure. As we went inside I was able to hear a slight voice.

It was still dark. Thanks to the rain. It was muddy, cloggy and we had no hope of having sunlight. Alex walked first followed by me, Jeeva and Mega. We could see a misshaped hole about 2 meters in diameter. We went near it and the voice was now crystal clear.

We all took a side from which we were comfortable to see and peeped into it. There was a huge place behind the tunnel that we were in. Looked like some old godown. There was a guy with dark green shirt and cargo pant who was shouting at the top of his voice.

“Do you know the value of it?” he shouted.

There was no reply from the other end. I couldn’t see them. Our heads dashed each other to get a clear glimpse of other persons.

“You idiots. By Monday morning I’ve to give them the stuff otherwise I won’t get money. Don’t you know its value? Idiot go get the lorry” said he.

“Lorry?” we all looked at each other. When I tried to look deep inside suddenly a flock of bats came. Mega screeched and fell on me. My head alone got stuck in the hole.

“What the hell?” said the leader and continued “Who is he? Shoot him”

“Shoot? Sir wait sir. I can explain,” Before I could say anything one among them fired a shot in my direction.

Thank god his shot wasn’t accurate. But his shot made a crack in the wall. Thanks to Mega’s weight the wall broke and we all fell down in a thump.That’s when we saw the remaining three members. Their lorry is the one we stole.

The white shirt guy who was talking over the phone their came immediately and took me by hair. “B@$t@rd. How dare you?” I writhed in pain.

“Sir. Sir I can explain,” said I but by then I was rounded up by a group of thugs. Including the two men who were loading liquor bottles out there.

“Gopal what’s happening here. Who are they?” the leader asked the white shirt man.

“Oh they are the culprits,” said him and slapped each one of us very hard.

“Tell me whose gang you are? Mani’s gang? Saets gang? Or Milans gang?” he asked inserting the gun deep inside which touched my throat.

“aaaahaaahaaah,” I tried to talk.

“What?”

“Sir gun,” said Gopal.

“Oh,” he took out the gun from my mouth and asked, “Who are you guys?”

“Sir we don’t belong to any gang. We don’t know what you are talking about. Please sir believe us.”

“You rats. Don’t you guys have guts even to reveal your gang? Rats! Tell me what gang you are otherwise I’ll shoot him” he now placed the gun in Alex’s mouth who kneeled down their bravely.

“We’re from I.T. gang sir,” said Jeeva.

“What’s that?”

“We’re working people sir. We don’t know a thing,” I said.

“Oh losers,” he said. So even he knows.

“Yes Sir,” Jeeva was the first person to oblige. Rightly so.

“Then why did you steal the truck? You morons?” he asked us again.

“To have a drink sir,” I said.

“To have a drink?” he turned to the other people around him and said again, “to have a drink. Did you hear that? These guys stole the truck to have a drink” and started laughing. The whole gang started to laugh. We didn’t find it funny, seriously but without knowing what to do we too started to laugh.

He fired a shot upstairs and which broke some parts of tunnel. Some of the cement slabs fell on his head. Even in that serious situation it made Mega laugh.

“What is making you laugh hum? You fatso.”

“Sorry sir.”

“Where is the lorry. You tell or otherwise I’ll shoot every one of you down. I’ll start with this fat @ss first,” said he and kept the revolver in his mouth. Mega farted.

“Chi! Throw this fatso out. Making the whole place dingy.”

When they came to lift Mega Alex said, “Sir we took the truck its true but while we were going through the highway a police caught us and got hold of the truck. Then we entered into the forest and lost our way.” We looked at him with mouths open

“Hmm hmmm,” he kept thinking.

“If what you said is not true?” asked the leader.

“I swear on my friends’ sir,” Alex said.

“Is it?” asked the leader for which we all nodded our heads.

“Gopal. Put them in that room. If I don’t get the truck then we’ll see what to do,” said he and started to dial a number.

The guards their asked us to get on our feet and started hitting us in head with the back of their rifles. Meanwhile the leader called someone, “Sir Mani speaking sir. No problem we got hold of the guys. As soon as we get the lorry we can finish them.”

“Finish them,” I gasped. They threw all of us in a room with metal surface all around.

“Maen they’ve given us A.C. room maen. Not bad,” said Mega.

“F***a this is freezer room. We’ll freeze to death if we stay here for a while,” said I.

The Stuff Continues…

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 8

“Atta boy Alex,” said I and hugged him for the first time after knowing that he was gay but I regretted immediately when Mega said, “Maen but you’re going to get married next week maen. I don’ want yo’ to get into no trouble.”

I expected Jeeva to protest but he didn’t which was weird. So we all set out to hear the plan from Alex who was the mastermind behind the idea.

He started saying the plan, “See the plan is simple. The guy in white shirt there, you see is restless. He’ll pee in a moment or two. I guess he’s talking with his boss. Once he gets done with it he’ll go attend the natures’ call. The rest two guys the one lean fellow stands near the shop and that Chinaman loads the cartons in the truck. ” said Alex.

“Okay all that even we could see except the pee part. Other than that what are we supposed to do?” I asked.

Alex for some reason never gets infuriated. And that’s irritating for me. He’s like the Dumbledore of our gang who gives a long speech during climax. How much ever we try to mess up the situation he keeps his cool.

“I’m about to say that,” he continued, “You take the wheel,” he addressed to me.” I always take the wheel. If he had recommended any other guy I wouldn’t have agreed to the plan.

“Mega you go first get into the truck. You’re the heaviest man you can’t be as fast as us.” Mega nodded.

“Jeeva just cover Vikram. Our main guy is Vikram he has to get to the wheel otherwise the whole thing is damned.”

“You all three come straight through. Don’t try to turn. There is no enough space. Come in reverse. You can turn here in the corner,” Alex looked me at the end and completed telling the story.

“Ya I know all that,” said I.

Jeeva asked, “When will you get into the truck?”

“See we can get rid of the head and the lean fellow. Our only problem is China man. When you come in full speed in reverse I’ll wait by the side throw that China man away and get into the truck.”

“So you take the most heroic part,” ridiculed I.

“’m the tallest maen ’ll easily topple the small fella. You go into the truck ’ll take care of him” said Mega.

“Fatso you’ll throw away the Chinaman right into the beach alright but how’ll you get into the truck this fast. Truck could only get on you” I said a joke which none laughed.

“Okay jokes apart,” at least he accepted it’s a joke, “plan okay?” asked Alex.

“All okay,” said I and we showed thumps up sign to each other.

“It all feels like a thriller story,” said I and started walking to the truck.

“After guy stuff next is thriller alright,” said Mega.

Meanwhile at a particular moment the White shirt guy cut the call and ran to the ditch nearby to empty his bladder, the lean fellow turned back to liquor shop and China man was inside the truck keeping the carton box which he got deep inside the box.

We used that moment and went to side of the truck. I slowly sneaked in. Jeeva and Mega were downstairs. While Mega tried to get into the truck it shook because of his weight. The Chinaman noticed and shouted, “bai…”He left doing his job and started running towards us without even closing his zip.

I did what should not be done. I started the engine and took a reverse there and the back of the truck hit the liquor shop. Mega who was getting in fell inside the truck and went below the seats. Jeeva caught hold of the door. But I took an immediate right turn so the door flew open. The lean fellow who was trying to grab Jeeva fell behind when the door came behind him.

The white shirt fellow who was directly in front of me got scared by the way I drove. I went directly in his direction. He was at the corner of the street near the open sewage. Seeing me speeding towards him he jumped in the ditch. Jeeva who was hanging in the door came inside.

Alex who couldn’t understand the commotion came running towards us. The Chinaman was still inside the truck. Alex caught hold of the back half door of the truck. Flung to the truck and threw him away. All three came running towards us but soon lost us in the darkness.

We didn’t stop and we went on. Alex came to the front on the go and asked us, “Where is Mega?”

Jeeva pointed downstairs. Alex saw Mega happily dozing behind the seats and smiled. By then Alex and I were almost out of the dizziness. Thanks to the commotion and the responsibility.

As I kept on driving, Jeeva pointed out, “Hey man orange signal. Wait”

Alex who was relaxing said, “F**k signals. As if we care” and let out a laugh. I thought no one was as frustrated as me. That day I knew I was wrong. No one was happy with the life or is it just the way life is supposed to be.

Then I saw it was not signal. It was a sardarji with orange turban which Jeeva wrongly understood as signal. But behind him were lights which were glaring. Yes it was police vehicle.

“We’re f****d up,” said I while Alex looked up to see what it was.

“Shall I drive past?” I asked Alex with my pedal ready on the accelerator.

“No slow down I’ll do the talking,” said Alex. All the while Jeeva was drawing some imaginary figures in open air.

We came to halt and Alex got down to talk. He made a salam.

“Hmm hmm. What’s inside?”

Alex scratched his head and said, “Sir regular thing only sir.” He took out his wallet and gave a 500 rupee note. He didn’t oblige.

“Are you trying to bribe me?” the policeman asked him. An usual dialogue by every policeman.

“Sir not like that. Just to show our affection,” said he but he was in no mood for it.

“Open the door. What’s inside it?” he asked sternly and came to the front door first. As soon as he opened it. Jeeva tried to stand up and salute him but hit the top of the truck.

“Sir good morning sir,” he said to the policeman in military accent.

“Is he drunk?” asked the policeman to Alex.

Alex tried to say something before that Jeeva said, “Sir no sir.” I was happy that he was at least this much sensible but that happiness was cut short when he said, “we are stoned sir,” as if that’s not enough he turned to me, smiled and asked, “Ain’t I right Vikram?”

“Very correct,” said I and bowed by head.

“Drunken driving, marijuana and what else? Open the back door,” said the policeman. Alex resisted and tried to cajole him by giving more money but he was stubborn.

“If you try to bribe me again I’ll arrest all three of you,” said the policeman.

I made Jeeva sit meanwhile but he again got up and shouted, “Sir four sir.”

“What?” asked the policeman.

“Sir one more down under sir,” said Jeeva and pointed below.

“Who’s that? Let me see,” said the policeman and bent below to look who it was. Alex hit him hard at the back of head. He fell on Mega’s @ss and he farted which made the whole place stink.

“S#!t!” said I.

Alex carefully drew his body out and put it in his jeep. I asked whether I could help him. He asked me to stay in the trunk and take care of the two lunatics. I did what he said.

But when he left the policeman in the van his hand wrongly touched the siren button and it suddenly began to squeal. Alex ran and jumped into the truck. I started the truck and sped past the policeman.

As instructed by Alex we went through the woods as we couldn’t risk going through road. It was a bumpy ride through the woods. If the drama wasn’t enough it began to rain and it became even more difficult to ride. Mega kept rolling in and out making it difficult for me to drive.

We went inside the forest without knowing where we really were going.

“Dude watch out!” cried Alex.

The Stuff Continues…

The Guy Stuff – Beyond Chapter (Gay Fellow’s Page)

Huh, I can’t believe that you made a good story even out of the deep s**t that we were in, but I must say that you have made a great use of your narrative license. You have successfully concealed a few facts and others you’ve manipulated to your favour- you’ve got what it takes to be a writer.

I must appreciate your vividly description of Fatso, Looser and myself. Hey dreamer (the author forgot to mention that the others in the gang called him a dreamer- reasons given at a later stage) but do you realise that you have missed out something? Man how would the people there come to know about your six pack abs, blue sparkling eyes, angular face and those bulky muscles if you were not to tell them? Shall I take the honours dude? But then your description of Mega and Jeeva seemed so perfect, like you had pasted a picture of them. What you say guys?? And for all those who wonder why the “author” gave me a good description, it’s all for the respect he has got for my muscles.

Man I did flunk at my exams. But I did clear a few papers in my one year at college, though they were few, they did exist. Alas all the blah blah that I’ve heard from you over the years that our education system has nothing to do with brains, now its ma turn to remind you that. At least my brains are fresh and were not screwed up at college. I left back the studies for ma passion unlike few other crying babies that crawled out of college- No offence dude, I dint mean you, was just a statement in general.

Dude, what do you say when people ask want you work as? Is it Debugger? Or is it Bugger? As fas as am concerned am NO gym boy or gym master.Its ‘F-I-T-N-E-S-S’ ‘T-R-A-I-N-E-R’. Get it? It’s so funny when you say that I became a gay. It’s like all of a sudden one day I woke up and found myself turned into a gay. Dude I am a gay, it’s what I am. Nobody made me nor did I become so. Its what I have been and what I’ll be. How is it with you, did someone make you straight or one fine day you woke up and found that you were made straight.

Now I hope it’s time we tell the people out there about the “dreamer” part? I am not sure if this is gonnaappear or if the author is gonna take the editor’s role to trim this out. Dude what happened at Mega’s place. That black dress girl giving you inviting looks, we were at such a distance from her and I could barely see a face in that dark at that far, and you went on to see inviting looks. I guess that’s enough for people to know why you’re popularly known as the dreamer. Dude, now don’t be pissed off, at least be happy that I dint mention that the girl was high on dope and just fell on the floor where she stood and you were the one to run up to her to lend a helping hand to her back. I must mention that you narrated it so well that for a moment you had me wondering if what you had written was what had really happened .

So that’s enough I guess, done with my part of the revelations, waiting to see what Fatso has got to say. By the way it was one hell of an adventure, though could have been better without the mess we made out of it. Got a good news for you guys; my guy has moved out of the relationship, seems he is not able to convince his parents. So we have a break up party to plan. And meanwhile Vikram, what’s your brother up to, it’s been a while since the two of us have met. Bring him along for this break up party dude.

And hey special ‘hi’ to a girl who’s name starts and ends with ‘A’. Jeeva told me that some girl whose name starts with ‘A’ and ends with ‘A’ had pinged him and said that she is eager to know my part of revelation. So here I am.

One more thing. Girls beware. Be very aware of this guy. Don’t ping him and say that the story is good or blah blah. He’ll start chatting with you and mind it he’ll be so good that you won’t feel like saying ‘bye’ and going back to work. Now Vikram are you happy?

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 7

Someone had to break the silence so I did, “What fatso?”

“Maen it was so f****n’ sentimaen,” said Mega.

“Oh my teddy bear don’t be sad,” said Alex and hugged him. Though it changed the mood. I didn’t like the scene of Alex and Mega hugging.

Mega wiped his tears and said, “Now that we’ve heard of Jeeva’s antics lets here it out from Alex.”

“What?” I exasperated.

“Yea maen Alex tell somepin”

“Oh man come on…” blushed Alex.

“Hey hey wait no one is telling nothing. Let’s stop it there. Already guy stuff got interrupted by some girl stuff I don’t want gay stuff at any cost.” But they were in no mood to listen.

“Oh man I’m feeling shy,” said Alex. His six feet four inch eight pack frame blushing, I couldn’t digest.

“It’s okay we’re all your friends we are eager to listen,” said Mega. Why did he include me?

“Hmm okay then,” he continued blushing. “I saw him first in my gym” I saw him? Yuck. “He was doing pushups. At the very first instant I recognized him that he’s my type.”

“Your type?” asked Jeeva.

“Gay.Loser,” said I.

“He had a fairly slender body with thin frame. His cheek bones were narrow, hips straight,” What the …? What the…?

“Okay come to the point.” said I not able to digest.

“Wait. You explain.” said Mega.

“I thought only one among us was gay,” said I.

“He came to me skeptically and asked for weights. I gave him 5 Kg dumbbell I was holding. He took it but couldn’t lift it. I let out a smile.” Now even I was listening intently. It was something different.

“That’s how he started. We became close after that. He’d look at me in awe every time I put on weights. So in order to impress him I used to put on more and more weight.”

“Our friendship gradually continued. After gym we used to go out for diner and as he stays till the end I drop him home sometimes. One fine day the eventual happened. I proposed to him”

“You proposed. Oh my…”

As usual my comment was ignored and he continued, “I must say he was elated. I knew he would accept but still I was nervous.” Okay so nervousness happens in every type of love no matter what.

“But you know what the very first day I saw him in white dress I was smitten.” Again white.

“Okay now that the story is over lets sleep,” I said to the rest of them.

“If you want to sleep, sleep. Don’t trouble us,” said Jeeva.

“Okay loser,” I said and pretended to sleep. I lay down on the floor. All the beds which were there were utter waste. I didn’t feel any chill, thanks to grass.

“I have one doubt. You call him wife. I mean how’ll you decide who is husband and who is wife. I mean you both are same and …” asked loser. What a brilliant question?

“Ha ha the passive one is wife of course,” Alex replied.

“At least wives there are passive,” retorted Jeeva.

“Maen but what about your parents maen what did you tell to them?” questioned Mega.

“It was tough. Probably the toughest thing to do. But I wasn’t ashamed that I’m gay it’s my life and I chose to be that way.” Now it struck me. Getting a girl and making our parents understand in itself is hell of a task. Taking a guy and telling that I’m going to marry him. Oh my god it takes courage.

“And I finally broke the news. My father was terribly upset he didn’t talk to me. My mom being a doctor though didn’t like the idea finally understood and consoled my dad. But I too sometimes feel bad for them. They can’t go around saying that their son is gay. And thanks to you guys you didn’t neglect me either.”

“Oh come on man even if you change your sex we’re going to be your friend.” Jeeva I think did the right thing by consoling but changing sex is too big a deal.

“Then you’ve to beware of Vikram. He’ll try to hit on,” said Mega. I pounced on him and started to hit him. My blows thanks to my punching of boxing bag whenever I get angry – that’s like all the time – were fierce but Mega didn’t have a tough time to neglect it. He was used to it because two years down the line I didn’t have any boxing bag.

“Mega great idea to wake up an acting Vikram,” said Jeeva. These guys have a way of humor which will make anyone laugh at any moment. After punching for a few minutes everyone joined and started to punch mega. We got tired but Mega wasn’t.

“So Alex tell me have you fancied any other man other than your wife?” asked Mega.

We all were curious. He said, “Yes. Only one”

“Who’s that?” prodded Jeeva.

That’s when he gave a shock of my life. He said, “Vikram’s brother.”

“Bloody b*****d.” I got up and started hitting him vigorously. All started to laugh.

“How does it feel when someone gives it back to you,” said Jeeva.

“Huh! Shut up loser,” said I.

It’s not that my younger brother and I are very close and all but I can’t accept if he comes gay. That too being my brother he shouldn’t.

“Do you understand now how it felt for every brother who had a sister?” asked Jeeva.

“Whatever,” said I and went to one corner to sleep. It was almost 4 in the morning. It was still dark but what a night it was. We had whole lot of fun. Thanks to booze, grass, coke and more importantly my friends.

“Hey dude wake up,” called Alex in just a few minutes.

I was so dizzy to reply. I couldn’t even open my eye lids. That’s the trick in getting stoned you see. Once you close the eyes it’s so damn tough to open it. So thus my eyelids were heavy.

*SLAP* I felt someone was rubbing my face and opening my eyelids. It was Mega. Seeing him in such close up I got shocked and woke up immediately.

“What do you guys want?”

“Booze,” shouted everyone in unison.

“What? Where can we get it at this point of time?””

“Les’ go search maen. Search brings booze,” said Mega.

“F**k your logic. Let me sleep,” said I and dropped thud on the floor. But that moment was short lived. I was taken as whole by the three of my friends as if they were lifting a dead body. One hand each by Alex and Jeeva and legs by Mega. I felt I was on a high after getting stoned only when they dropped me in the water in the nearby beach I realized that I was being lifted. I woke up immediately and gasped for breath.

“Maen lets check out some peaches in the beaches maen,” said Mega irritating me further.

“Oh yeah. At 4’o clock,” I said sarcastically.

“Okay let’s not waste time. What’s the plan of attack?” asked Alex.

“I have one plan. Attack!” said Jeeva.

“Oh god! Save my soul,” I said looking up at the sky, fully drenched. For some reason I didn’t feel cold even though there was heavy wind.

“Your soul is no superior than my @ss hole maen,
when the cool breeze flows over maiden pool maen,
you put a stool, wear uniform and start for school maen,” Mega started singing his highly idiotic rap once again.

“Dude please…” said I.

“Okay now let’s start our search. It’s only an hour more for the sunrise. We’ve to get the liquor,” said Alex.

“As if we’re going to turn into werewolf if not,” remarked I sarcastically.

We went around the city in search of liquor. Almost all the shops were closed but we sincerely hoped that there would be some shops were we could get liquor. In corner of the one street we found out that shop.

“Shhh!” Alex signaled.

We all lined behind him. When going gets serious Alex takes command. In spite of us all being on a high we all followed Alex’s instructions and lined behind him.

There were three guys there. One in white shirt and two workers wearing lungi. The man in white shirt and black pant was wearing a golden bracelet which shone as the yellow light above him directly hit the metal. He was talking over the phone with his right hand which had the bracelet too.

The other worker a Chinese or Burmese or Nepali was loading a truck with cartons of liquor. That got me excited. Another lean fellow was also helping him in loading the bottles. The guy in white shirt was so dark that we couldn’t even see his face from the corner of the street. He was intently watching the loading of the truck.

“Guys…” called Alex. We all listened with rapt attention and he continued, “Let’s lift it.”

“Carton?” I asked.

“No. The truck”

“Whoa…” I mocked him and laughed. I knew he was joking.

“I’m serious. Let’s do it. You were the one who wanted to make the trip memorable. Come Monday we all are going to be a bunch of losers again. Why not live life at least this weekend,” said Alex.

 The Stuff Continues…

The Guy Stuff – Chapter 6

“I was just joking. Look at you. How your face turned pink at the very mention of our sweet little boy,” she said.

I still couldn’t come to terms. I turned away from her.

“Oh baby it was just a joke don’t mind,” she said caressing my chins. She liked the stubble so I had kept it that way.

“But not on a day like this Archie”

“Why?”

“It’s my birthday today”

“Oh my…” she said and after thinking about it said, “Hey liar your birthday is on September”

“That’s official one. It’s my real birthday”

“Oh is it? I’m so so sorry. Won’t you forgive me please please please….”

—

“Oh then what happened,” Mega chipped in.

“Then she said she would make it up for that?”

“Make it up?” asked dumb Jeeva.

“Yea man we had sex marathon. All positions.Whole night. As she wanted to do everything to satisfy me I made her do everything. I mean just everything. She was an animal.”

“Rightly called b***h huh?” asked Alex. We all let out a laugh.

“Yea poor b***h. Didn’t know that it wasn’t my birthday that day. I left a note and went next day morning without even informing her.”

“Wow man that’s one hell of a revenge,” said Jeeva, “I wish I could…” said he and stopped in the middle.

“It ain’t over yet,” said I.

“Maen…”

“I went to her marriage and she was shell shocked seeing me. I have her a present and came back. I loved the look, the fear.”

“You’re the worstest moron,” said Mega.

“Whatever.”

“By the by what was the present,” asked Alex.

“Did you really think I’d have given anything?” I asked Alex. He didn’t answer and then we all laughed.

“And thanks to her, right from that day every time I take a girl out for a night I say it’s my birthday. Increases efficiency to a great extent you see.” They all laughed and I continued, “Girls do consider birthday special.”

“Ya even Jeeva went on first date on his birthday I guess,” said Alex.

“Now don’t start your soupy love story. I don’t want to hear your bull s#!t,” said I to Jeeva.

“It’s not fair. This is independent country I have right to talk too,” said Jeeva trying to be funny but he was least bit funny.

I ridiculed him, “Ya you have right to talk and that’s what you’ve been doing all the while and no action.”

“I’m not you man I can’t get girls so easily.”

“It’s just that you’re not trying. There are lots of girls who understand. Who are like us. You just have to get the right one.”

“Whatever man. No one can beat my Priya.”

Okay now that Jeeva started I couldn’t stop him. I took a joint and settled where Alex had sat. I was barely interested in his love soups.

“Let’s forget that b*****d.You tell. How did it start?”

“After days and days of waiting she finally accepted to come out with me. But said that the place was surprise.”

“Hmm,” said Mega.

“Don’t hmm. Just listen.”

“’k maen… go on”

“She was there in white salwar. Pearls around her neck. White bindi and jasmine flowers,” yuck “She came like an angel from the heaven,” okay loser which angel comes with jasmine flowers.

“Did you say something?” Jeeva asked me.

“No I didn’t. I’m all ears,” I mocked him. But how the hell did he catch my mind voice.

“I met her at 6’o clock in the morning,” who the hell will go for date at 6? Loser.“She said that I should meet her first thing in the morning. Then we went to temple.” oh god. “She looked divine.”

“Dude it’s your girlfriend not your grandma,” said I for which all gave a collective sigh as if I’ve plucked cherries from their plates.

Jeeva ignored my comment and continued, “We both didn’t look odd there. Everyone looked at us with compassion,” yes that’s what they could do. What else could they do?

“She made an archanai in my name and then even applied vibuthi(holy ash) in my forehead. It was so caring you know. The way she applied vibuthi and blowed air pleasantly.”

“Blowed air? She must be blowing…. Okay I quit,” and turning to Mega and Alex said, “ya you both nicely listen. What a great story he’s sharing”

“She had so much love for me man. I could see that in her eyes,” My @$$.

“Then we both lunched in SaravanaBhavan.”

“You went to SaravanaBhavan on your first date?” I scowled at him.

“Ya man she liked sambar idly.” He said now on a high. I could say that as he was grinning widely.

“Sambar idly at SaravanaBhavan on your first date. That’s just awesome,” I said.

Jeeva being a loser didn’t understand my sarcastic tone so continued, “ya man awesome isn’t it. Then you know where we went?”

“Is there any worse place than this?”

“We went to orphanage.”

I banged my fist to my head. I took another joint and took a huge puff. I didn’t comment anything but suddenly Jeeva started to cry. It’s the next stage. Male bitching starts here. I like this part.

“Can you believe it man? We went to orphanage on my first day. She distributed laddus. These kids were so happy to get laddus. Okay I’m not Vikram” now why me “to say that all these are bull S#!t but orphanage on my date. It was too much even for me.” Now what type of girl takes her boyfriend to orphanage? It’s at these times that I really doubt she loved him or not.

“The whole day I spent with her but we did nothing romantic. At 6’o clock I asked her to come to beach but she said she has to go home and it had already become late. I went to her home, dropped her, drank the coffee that her mom gave and came back to my home.”

“We both are in the same office why didn’t you tell me any of it then.”

“As if you’d listen,” said Alex sarcastically.

“Ya but still…” I opened my mouth and closed. Yes we hardly met in office but even if I had met I wouldn’t have listened to all his idiotic stories.

“All girls are like this man,” This is the height of male bitching. Once on a high we start generalizing having no guts to scold their own girlfriend. Nevertheless it was fun.

“Ya man.Girls are fit only to toast sandwiches,” said I adding fuel to the fire.

“And I like it without crumbs,” said Mega who was quiet all the while. I have wondered what Mega really felt because he didn’t share any stories. He was a happy guy always. At least on the surface but something said that he had something to say. I didn’t prod him though.

“Aye aye sir,” said I and we all took a well rolled out joint from Mega and took another huge puff.

“But seriously man why do you still throng around her,” I asked Jeeva who now looked somewhat settled.

“You know man she makes me wait for an hour sometime two in bus stop. I wait arduously. I get so irritated and I’ll be in full rage to scold her as soon as she comes but as soon as I see her. See her smiling at me and saying sorry, sorry… like million times. I forget everything. I feel like I’d even give my life to her.”

“Chicken S#!t,”

“You won’t understand man.Its love. Only I’ll know

“Stop your only-i-know crap even I know but your girl doesn’t deserve any of this. Just a plain old dumbo. She’d become grandma at 25 I bet.”

“Oh you don’t know man you don’t know,” again he started to grin.

“What do I don’t know. Explain I’ll listen. For once let’s settle this. I don’t want my friend to fall in some dirty ditch.”

“You know she treats everyone equally.”

“She’s treating you like s#!t.”

“She’s intelligent”

“She’s clever” I shot back.

“She’s innocent.”

“She is dumb.”

“She is practical.”

“She is boring.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“She’s a b***h.” There was silence around us. I didn’t expect Jeeva to hit me back because he knows it’s true. And someone has to tell him. Who better than me? So I continued…

“See you’re cheating yourself saying that she’s good and blah blah. Come out of it. She’s a b***h accept it and move on. Life is too short to waste on a single girl. Just learn buddy,” said I, everyone were silent listening to my speech. Yes I’ve the knack of making people listen.

The stuff continues…