The Guy Stuff – Chapter 8

Posted: August 2, 2012 in Movie Reviews
Tags: ,

“Atta boy Alex,” said I and hugged him for the first time after knowing that he was gay but I regretted immediately when Mega said, “Maen but you’re going to get married next week maen. I don’ want yo’ to get into no trouble.”

I expected Jeeva to protest but he didn’t which was weird. So we all set out to hear the plan from Alex who was the mastermind behind the idea.

He started saying the plan, “See the plan is simple. The guy in white shirt there, you see is restless. He’ll pee in a moment or two. I guess he’s talking with his boss. Once he gets done with it he’ll go attend the natures’ call. The rest two guys the one lean fellow stands near the shop and that Chinaman loads the cartons in the truck. ” said Alex.

“Okay all that even we could see except the pee part. Other than that what are we supposed to do?” I asked.

Alex for some reason never gets infuriated. And that’s irritating for me. He’s like the Dumbledore of our gang who gives a long speech during climax. How much ever we try to mess up the situation he keeps his cool.

“I’m about to say that,” he continued, “You take the wheel,” he addressed to me.” I always take the wheel. If he had recommended any other guy I wouldn’t have agreed to the plan.

“Mega you go first get into the truck. You’re the heaviest man you can’t be as fast as us.” Mega nodded.

“Jeeva just cover Vikram. Our main guy is Vikram he has to get to the wheel otherwise the whole thing is damned.”

“You all three come straight through. Don’t try to turn. There is no enough space. Come in reverse. You can turn here in the corner,” Alex looked me at the end and completed telling the story.

“Ya I know all that,” said I.

Jeeva asked, “When will you get into the truck?”

“See we can get rid of the head and the lean fellow. Our only problem is China man. When you come in full speed in reverse I’ll wait by the side throw that China man away and get into the truck.”

“So you take the most heroic part,” ridiculed I.

“’m the tallest maen ’ll easily topple the small fella. You go into the truck ’ll take care of him” said Mega.

“Fatso you’ll throw away the Chinaman right into the beach alright but how’ll you get into the truck this fast. Truck could only get on you” I said a joke which none laughed.

“Okay jokes apart,” at least he accepted it’s a joke, “plan okay?” asked Alex.

“All okay,” said I and we showed thumps up sign to each other.

“It all feels like a thriller story,” said I and started walking to the truck.

“After guy stuff next is thriller alright,” said Mega.

Meanwhile at a particular moment the White shirt guy cut the call and ran to the ditch nearby to empty his bladder, the lean fellow turned back to liquor shop and China man was inside the truck keeping the carton box which he got deep inside the box.

We used that moment and went to side of the truck. I slowly sneaked in. Jeeva and Mega were downstairs. While Mega tried to get into the truck it shook because of his weight. The Chinaman noticed and shouted, “bai…”He left doing his job and started running towards us without even closing his zip.

I did what should not be done. I started the engine and took a reverse there and the back of the truck hit the liquor shop. Mega who was getting in fell inside the truck and went below the seats. Jeeva caught hold of the door. But I took an immediate right turn so the door flew open. The lean fellow who was trying to grab Jeeva fell behind when the door came behind him.

The white shirt fellow who was directly in front of me got scared by the way I drove. I went directly in his direction. He was at the corner of the street near the open sewage. Seeing me speeding towards him he jumped in the ditch. Jeeva who was hanging in the door came inside.

Alex who couldn’t understand the commotion came running towards us. The Chinaman was still inside the truck. Alex caught hold of the back half door of the truck. Flung to the truck and threw him away. All three came running towards us but soon lost us in the darkness.

We didn’t stop and we went on. Alex came to the front on the go and asked us, “Where is Mega?”

Jeeva pointed downstairs. Alex saw Mega happily dozing behind the seats and smiled. By then Alex and I were almost out of the dizziness. Thanks to the commotion and the responsibility.

As I kept on driving, Jeeva pointed out, “Hey man orange signal. Wait”

Alex who was relaxing said, “F**k signals. As if we care” and let out a laugh. I thought no one was as frustrated as me. That day I knew I was wrong. No one was happy with the life or is it just the way life is supposed to be.

Then I saw it was not signal. It was a sardarji with orange turban which Jeeva wrongly understood as signal. But behind him were lights which were glaring. Yes it was police vehicle.

“We’re f****d up,” said I while Alex looked up to see what it was.

“Shall I drive past?” I asked Alex with my pedal ready on the accelerator.

“No slow down I’ll do the talking,” said Alex. All the while Jeeva was drawing some imaginary figures in open air.

We came to halt and Alex got down to talk. He made a salam.

“Hmm hmm. What’s inside?”

Alex scratched his head and said, “Sir regular thing only sir.” He took out his wallet and gave a 500 rupee note. He didn’t oblige.

“Are you trying to bribe me?” the policeman asked him. An usual dialogue by every policeman.

“Sir not like that. Just to show our affection,” said he but he was in no mood for it.

“Open the door. What’s inside it?” he asked sternly and came to the front door first. As soon as he opened it. Jeeva tried to stand up and salute him but hit the top of the truck.

“Sir good morning sir,” he said to the policeman in military accent.

“Is he drunk?” asked the policeman to Alex.

Alex tried to say something before that Jeeva said, “Sir no sir.” I was happy that he was at least this much sensible but that happiness was cut short when he said, “we are stoned sir,” as if that’s not enough he turned to me, smiled and asked, “Ain’t I right Vikram?”

“Very correct,” said I and bowed by head.

“Drunken driving, marijuana and what else? Open the back door,” said the policeman. Alex resisted and tried to cajole him by giving more money but he was stubborn.

“If you try to bribe me again I’ll arrest all three of you,” said the policeman.

I made Jeeva sit meanwhile but he again got up and shouted, “Sir four sir.”

“What?” asked the policeman.

“Sir one more down under sir,” said Jeeva and pointed below.

“Who’s that? Let me see,” said the policeman and bent below to look who it was. Alex hit him hard at the back of head. He fell on Mega’s @ss and he farted which made the whole place stink.

“S#!t!” said I.

Alex carefully drew his body out and put it in his jeep. I asked whether I could help him. He asked me to stay in the trunk and take care of the two lunatics. I did what he said.

But when he left the policeman in the van his hand wrongly touched the siren button and it suddenly began to squeal. Alex ran and jumped into the truck. I started the truck and sped past the policeman.

As instructed by Alex we went through the woods as we couldn’t risk going through road. It was a bumpy ride through the woods. If the drama wasn’t enough it began to rain and it became even more difficult to ride. Mega kept rolling in and out making it difficult for me to drive.

We went inside the forest without knowing where we really were going.

“Dude watch out!” cried Alex.

The Stuff Continues…


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