The Guy Stuff – Chapter 7

Posted: August 2, 2012 in Movie Reviews
Tags: ,

Someone had to break the silence so I did, “What fatso?”

“Maen it was so f****n’ sentimaen,” said Mega.

“Oh my teddy bear don’t be sad,” said Alex and hugged him. Though it changed the mood. I didn’t like the scene of Alex and Mega hugging.

Mega wiped his tears and said, “Now that we’ve heard of Jeeva’s antics lets here it out from Alex.”

“What?” I exasperated.

“Yea maen Alex tell somepin”

“Oh man come on…” blushed Alex.

“Hey hey wait no one is telling nothing. Let’s stop it there. Already guy stuff got interrupted by some girl stuff I don’t want gay stuff at any cost.” But they were in no mood to listen.

“Oh man I’m feeling shy,” said Alex. His six feet four inch eight pack frame blushing, I couldn’t digest.

“It’s okay we’re all your friends we are eager to listen,” said Mega. Why did he include me?

“Hmm okay then,” he continued blushing. “I saw him first in my gym” I saw him? Yuck. “He was doing pushups. At the very first instant I recognized him that he’s my type.”

“Your type?” asked Jeeva.

“Gay.Loser,” said I.

“He had a fairly slender body with thin frame. His cheek bones were narrow, hips straight,” What the …? What the…?

“Okay come to the point.” said I not able to digest.

“Wait. You explain.” said Mega.

“I thought only one among us was gay,” said I.

“He came to me skeptically and asked for weights. I gave him 5 Kg dumbbell I was holding. He took it but couldn’t lift it. I let out a smile.” Now even I was listening intently. It was something different.

“That’s how he started. We became close after that. He’d look at me in awe every time I put on weights. So in order to impress him I used to put on more and more weight.”

“Our friendship gradually continued. After gym we used to go out for diner and as he stays till the end I drop him home sometimes. One fine day the eventual happened. I proposed to him”

“You proposed. Oh my…”

As usual my comment was ignored and he continued, “I must say he was elated. I knew he would accept but still I was nervous.” Okay so nervousness happens in every type of love no matter what.

“But you know what the very first day I saw him in white dress I was smitten.” Again white.

“Okay now that the story is over lets sleep,” I said to the rest of them.

“If you want to sleep, sleep. Don’t trouble us,” said Jeeva.

“Okay loser,” I said and pretended to sleep. I lay down on the floor. All the beds which were there were utter waste. I didn’t feel any chill, thanks to grass.

“I have one doubt. You call him wife. I mean how’ll you decide who is husband and who is wife. I mean you both are same and …” asked loser. What a brilliant question?

“Ha ha the passive one is wife of course,” Alex replied.

“At least wives there are passive,” retorted Jeeva.

“Maen but what about your parents maen what did you tell to them?” questioned Mega.

“It was tough. Probably the toughest thing to do. But I wasn’t ashamed that I’m gay it’s my life and I chose to be that way.” Now it struck me. Getting a girl and making our parents understand in itself is hell of a task. Taking a guy and telling that I’m going to marry him. Oh my god it takes courage.

“And I finally broke the news. My father was terribly upset he didn’t talk to me. My mom being a doctor though didn’t like the idea finally understood and consoled my dad. But I too sometimes feel bad for them. They can’t go around saying that their son is gay. And thanks to you guys you didn’t neglect me either.”

“Oh come on man even if you change your sex we’re going to be your friend.” Jeeva I think did the right thing by consoling but changing sex is too big a deal.

“Then you’ve to beware of Vikram. He’ll try to hit on,” said Mega. I pounced on him and started to hit him. My blows thanks to my punching of boxing bag whenever I get angry – that’s like all the time – were fierce but Mega didn’t have a tough time to neglect it. He was used to it because two years down the line I didn’t have any boxing bag.

“Mega great idea to wake up an acting Vikram,” said Jeeva. These guys have a way of humor which will make anyone laugh at any moment. After punching for a few minutes everyone joined and started to punch mega. We got tired but Mega wasn’t.

“So Alex tell me have you fancied any other man other than your wife?” asked Mega.

We all were curious. He said, “Yes. Only one”

“Who’s that?” prodded Jeeva.

That’s when he gave a shock of my life. He said, “Vikram’s brother.”

“Bloody b*****d.” I got up and started hitting him vigorously. All started to laugh.

“How does it feel when someone gives it back to you,” said Jeeva.

“Huh! Shut up loser,” said I.

It’s not that my younger brother and I are very close and all but I can’t accept if he comes gay. That too being my brother he shouldn’t.

“Do you understand now how it felt for every brother who had a sister?” asked Jeeva.

“Whatever,” said I and went to one corner to sleep. It was almost 4 in the morning. It was still dark but what a night it was. We had whole lot of fun. Thanks to booze, grass, coke and more importantly my friends.

“Hey dude wake up,” called Alex in just a few minutes.

I was so dizzy to reply. I couldn’t even open my eye lids. That’s the trick in getting stoned you see. Once you close the eyes it’s so damn tough to open it. So thus my eyelids were heavy.

*SLAP* I felt someone was rubbing my face and opening my eyelids. It was Mega. Seeing him in such close up I got shocked and woke up immediately.

“What do you guys want?”

“Booze,” shouted everyone in unison.

“What? Where can we get it at this point of time?””

“Les’ go search maen. Search brings booze,” said Mega.

“F**k your logic. Let me sleep,” said I and dropped thud on the floor. But that moment was short lived. I was taken as whole by the three of my friends as if they were lifting a dead body. One hand each by Alex and Jeeva and legs by Mega. I felt I was on a high after getting stoned only when they dropped me in the water in the nearby beach I realized that I was being lifted. I woke up immediately and gasped for breath.

“Maen lets check out some peaches in the beaches maen,” said Mega irritating me further.

“Oh yeah. At 4’o clock,” I said sarcastically.

“Okay let’s not waste time. What’s the plan of attack?” asked Alex.

“I have one plan. Attack!” said Jeeva.

“Oh god! Save my soul,” I said looking up at the sky, fully drenched. For some reason I didn’t feel cold even though there was heavy wind.

“Your soul is no superior than my @ss hole maen,
when the cool breeze flows over maiden pool maen,
you put a stool, wear uniform and start for school maen,” Mega started singing his highly idiotic rap once again.

“Dude please…” said I.

“Okay now let’s start our search. It’s only an hour more for the sunrise. We’ve to get the liquor,” said Alex.

“As if we’re going to turn into werewolf if not,” remarked I sarcastically.

We went around the city in search of liquor. Almost all the shops were closed but we sincerely hoped that there would be some shops were we could get liquor. In corner of the one street we found out that shop.

“Shhh!” Alex signaled.

We all lined behind him. When going gets serious Alex takes command. In spite of us all being on a high we all followed Alex’s instructions and lined behind him.

There were three guys there. One in white shirt and two workers wearing lungi. The man in white shirt and black pant was wearing a golden bracelet which shone as the yellow light above him directly hit the metal. He was talking over the phone with his right hand which had the bracelet too.

The other worker a Chinese or Burmese or Nepali was loading a truck with cartons of liquor. That got me excited. Another lean fellow was also helping him in loading the bottles. The guy in white shirt was so dark that we couldn’t even see his face from the corner of the street. He was intently watching the loading of the truck.

“Guys…” called Alex. We all listened with rapt attention and he continued, “Let’s lift it.”

“Carton?” I asked.

“No. The truck”

“Whoa…” I mocked him and laughed. I knew he was joking.

“I’m serious. Let’s do it. You were the one who wanted to make the trip memorable. Come Monday we all are going to be a bunch of losers again. Why not live life at least this weekend,” said Alex.

 The Stuff Continues…


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