Today is the day. The today you are reading here is not actually today but a couple of weeks back. The idea of posting something specific on a specific day is good but you can’t put all your works, thinking on the same day. It’s the culmination of your thoughts on the days leading to it. Last time when I wanted to write something about my dad’s retirement I wrote it on his retirement day which was quite an emotional one for me but couldn’t write as well as I would have wanted to. Partly due to haste and partly due to nerves. I should have written stuffs few days before that or even in a number of sittings before the day and finally should have posted it on his retirement day. But that’s history.
Today is also the day because I feel satisfied. I’m a man who doesn’t get satisfied that easily. Not that I want moon but I want everything in my plan to at least get over in the stipulated time that I want to. It was a great day right from the start. As a customary Saturday morning ritual I woke up late. Watched the remaining half of Andaz Apna Apna, slept again in the afternoon, wrote the review, watched Indian Rupee along with my parents which was awesome, got a few likes for my Facebook status. So it was quite satisfying. One more thing is that my cousin in not here in my room so I could write freely. This one hour time I get every night in my room is the best. You don’t hear voices here. Only music and silence. My room is my meditation place.
This idea of writing about by 25th birthday came a few months back. I felt I’ve grown in stature in the last few years. I usually keep my birthday and New Year as a check point to see what all things I’ve done and things that I should do. Till my school years it was always about the chapters I should finish which by the way I was never able to fulfil but now I’m doing stuff, some real stuff! Also meanwhile my friend Marshal’s birthday note too was awesome. Also I’m getting worked up writing reviews all the time. I should spend some time writing about something else. There is also an unfinished story but that can wait. Also at 25 years I feel I’ve lived one third of the life of an average human being but really lived 4 years of real life. Add to it, right from the day I got into production I wanted to write my last day letter which hasn’t happened yet so this could be another vent.
I’ve always been the planner, the organizer. Whats worse is if I’ve to have my surprise birthday party. I have to plan that one too. It’d be awesome to have a surprise birthday party like those happening in movies but I know it’d never happen. And I don’t also don’t show myself of being a person who is fond of birthday parties and gifts. But come on, even I’m human.
Ok let’s trace the history, I was born on this day 25 years back. But there is a confusion about the day I was born. In our family we have a tradition that one should not cut his (her is ruled out here because, being in a conservative family our ancestors thought a woman would never go to salon) hair on his birthday. So all through the year I was deprived of going to the barber shop on a Sunday. The one day where an average human being wakes up late, eats non veg and goes to a barber shop. Just few days back while seeing my Jathagam it was confirmed that I was born on a Saturday. But never mind I’ve started cutting my hair on Sundays. Who will get up on 6’o clock on Monday/ Wednesday (the only days we were supposed to cut our hair) just to visit the barber shop. Further I get up 5.30 daily to catch my bus so it’s near impossible situation.
So my first few years went well, till my days in Satya School I was a hero. It was a small school and I was known to everyone. Till 6th standard quarterly exam I was really good in studies. That is mugging up. Studies really depended on my teachers. If I like the teacher I study well otherwise I don’t. Cricket coaching on the other hand too was awesome. Actually I was good in studies only till 5th standard final exam were I secured 693/700 and got third rank and cried the next year because I didn’t know that they give ranks based on the average of quarterly, half yearly and final. In sixth it was my physical science exam. Everyone knew me as a student who studies well. Both I and my father took a conscious decision that he won’t help me in studies like writing the whole notes as he did in 5th standard. I didn’t have a clue in exam because I just read and didn’t study for the exam. It was the same with most of the people. Almost none studied because getting to sixth standard we thought we were big boys who were full pants and write with ink pen. They haven’t written the exam well but I was writing. After half the period was over I came to know that most of the people have submitted their test notes and I haven’t. Students were talking as if I was writing well and teacher was looking through the corner of my eyes and smiling. If you don’t know still I could lip read, so I could see her asking a fellow student about my name. That’s when the real inspiration came in. As soon I knew that she was interested in me I started writing stories as I didn’t have a clue what’s the paper about. But I was very afraid when the results came. I got 43/50 and was elated. She was the one who spoilt me as I stopped studying and started writing stories. But it’s also because of her that I could absolutely write about anything I want.
After that it was a steady decline, lost in studies, lost in looks. College was again a disaster, the biggest one thus far. No studies, no girls, no bad habits. You know how it is. All I wanted was to get over with it and join a company. That’s when I got into Infosys. Though I very well knew that I suck at computers, all these thoughts didn’t come to me at that time. Like how I take resolution during New Year and during my birthday that I will study and get first rank I took a resolution after placement that I’ll fare well. Training was horrible because I sucked at what’s the most important thing there, studies. Rest was awesome.
I came here on January 2011. I thought that my life was going to change. I read Shantaram, the second best novel I’ve read till now and my first heavy novel during that period. The first week staying there and not working in Mcity was awesome. Problems started from the second week, the bus journey started to get on me. Further a couple of my friends played a prank on me. I was getting a feeling that I was hopeless. I came home and cried in front of my parents one day. But again went back to office that day. There was a slight glimmer of hope when I got a new job which I liked after few months but again I couldn’t get into it as I couldn’t convince my dad. The lamentation continued. The first project I was in, I didn’t work at all. Every day was hell.
That’s when something phenomenal happened. I started to write. My first story, don’t know for some strange reason that wasn’t censored in spite of having a lot of cuss words. It was received very well. You should have seen how elated I was when I got my first appreciation. Reading it now, it feels really cheap without any structure but I only improved after that. Then another story and then another. Things were happening. I was getting better on that side but still was depressed as I didn’t get a project. Not that I’m fond of working but that how people make you think, that it’s your fault if you don’t get work.
Meanwhile when I thought that I’m going to take up new job I started going to ECC so that I could use all the facilities before I quit. Before that I was a regular 5.20 buser. It felt good. Especially salsa. But haven’t danced before or touched a girls hand, my hormones started dancing I was horrible in that too. All I took is one week break to go to Andaman and I couldn’t dance properly for the next six months thinking of the one week class that I missed. There was one very good girl, Maggi who was patient enough to teach me steps again and again but I failed again and again.
On the other hand while I was getting better at salsa I got a project, my best friends’ project. First six months of that too was hell. If not for Vimal I wouldn’t have been able to survive. The six months prior to that I could survive because of Jeeva. These were the two guys who helped me cross a year through their support. After Pandi left to FTII I didn’t have anyone to talk about movies. Jeeva is the one guy whom I thought understood me so I again started to watch movies.
On my personal front, outside office I was getting my confidence back, thanks to few travelling, guitar class and most mainly my white framed specs. I got confidence on my looks only after changing my clean cropped hair style to the present. The very first day I wore my white frame Veera complemented me. I felt I had arrived.
After a year of going here and there I finally got a confirmed project where they won’t interview me. In September 2012 I got settled. As I said, after my disastrous first six months. Two people I feared the most went out of first project and it was smooth sailing after that. There is still a bitch in the project but that’s fine. That’s negligible. I never thought that I would get a friend in my project but that too happened.
So coming to a conclusion it feels like I’m in my golden phase. Everything seems to be in proper place. No tension, no depression. This is bachelor life at its best. I’ve done a lot of things. Four years down the line I was an ugly bastard out of the college having no clue what to do but have developed a lot over the years. Many who finished college with me are still in the same state so it’s good that I’ve prospered.
After four years, I’m a trekker, a reviewer, a writer, a photographer, a dancer, flirt, loved, broke up, got girls, people have liked me, hated me, faced great many insults, gave them on their face but most importantly I’ve a couple of friends who take me as their idol which is the best thing that has happened in these four years and many more but yet I’m to a short film, publish a book, learn post processing, finish Ladakh, get my ear pierced etc. Lots have been done and lots to do.
Finally here’s me wishing me Happy Birthday and I Rock!!!