The Guy Stuff – Chapter 5

Posted: July 31, 2012 in Movie Reviews
Tags: ,

“Oh wow maen. Grass. Just the thing I needed,” said Mega and pulled the packet in my right hand. Instead I gave the one in my left hand.

“But what’s the color difference,” asked Alex scrutinizing both the packets keenly. Mega got busy rolling joints with his tummy facing down. When it comes to rolling joints no one can beat mega.

“Need paper man,” said Mega.

“Use paper in it,” said Jeeva smoking his tenth cigarette and threw his wallet to Mega. Just because he doesn’t smoke in office once he gets hold of cigarette he doesn’t let go of it.

“I missin’somepin?Wheres the paper maen?” asked Mega.

“Take the one cursed paper which f***s the whole life,” said Jeeva.

“F***s the whole life. Don everyone f**k us?” asked Mega.

“Fatso he’s asking you to take money outta his wallet,” said I. Only then it stuck Megas head. He started to roll joints taking out the hundred rupee notes from Jeeva’s wallet.

“Well before that,” I said. It took some time for everyone to look at me hazily. “Shouldn’t we move a step ahead in ladder? How long all this boring mommas stuff, grass and beer?”

They were too dizzy to answer so I continued. “Hard drugs dumb @$$ holes, coke.” One mention at it and everyone got up.

Again we rolled a hundred rupee note and snorted. It burned our nose then the insides and then we were in totally different world. If grass was pleasure, coke was ecstasy.

“Man Priya man. My…” started Jeeva.

“Stop you black @$$ don’t start your love story. The only topic guys discuss after drinking is girls and add to it bloody love failure. I don’t want to hear this $#!t again,” said I firmly to Jeeva.

Mega who was lying face down rolling the joints gave us all a joint. The first puff was ecstatic. I loved the weightlessness. We all were sitting on the ground. I kept my legs over mega’s @$$. Felt like a cushion and kept on enjoying each and every puff. Alex was to my left looking at the burning rupee note. He was improperly sitting in the corner of the small room looking down and stashing the ash. Jeeva whereas was in different world. Sitting below tube light, closing his eyes and balancing the joint by keeping his hand on his knees.

We all were silent. The much needed silence. It happens every time after our first puff of weed. This time cocaine added further more impact to it.

“F**k this life man…,” said Alex. We exactly knew what he meant by that. We are god’s unwanted children. We didn’t like to exist in the world. We even formed a face book page to pre celebrate the December 12 disaster. We were one eager guys who wanted the world to end.

“Someone has to talk somepin ‘m gettin’ bored here,” said Mega. We didn’t respond. So he continued, “‘k lets here what the lady hater needs to talk.”

“When did I say that I’m a lady hater?” asked I.

“I just said in general. Only you replied so that makes you the lady hater,” said Mega which made everyone laugh. I didn’t because the joke was about me.

“Shut up. I’m no misogynist. Would I be roaming with so many girls if I’m a misogynist?” I asked him.

Jeeva asked, “But I’m amazed how do you so easily hit on girls?”

“It’s not too tough. There are a lot of nice girls who don’t make any fuzz. Only the ones you check out are terrible ones.”

“You’ve never had any problem once you’re done with a girl?” asked Jeeva.

“Not exactly”

“Then there is somepin’” said Mega.

“Leave that. Give me a joint,” I asked Mega.

“’ll give you a joint alright but tell the story. Somebody has to tell some story”

I got the joint now rolled with a five hundred rupee note, “it sure feels good to smoke when the denomination increases,” said I. Alex gave a nervous chuckle. He wasn’t interested in all this talk about girls. Neither was I but they insisted. Jeeva was all ears.

“There was one girl, I don’t even remember her name. hmmm”

“Don remember the name. Whoa,” said Mega.

“Stop the sarcasm. YaAkshaya.Akshaya was her name.Bloody b***h.”

“The master starts…” said Mega.

“Once we made love on a Friday night. Remember you got me the room in 4th floor in some hotel in Egmore?”

“Oh yea…”

“After lunch I dropped her at home and said all the usual stuff about the previous night. We had nice dirty talks during nights. Every time I met her in office she winked and gave me all naughty signals. After a month she said that she’d like to go out again. I got bored of her by then so I said that my packets were empty. But she insisted about us going and said she’d spend. A girl without spending money, can you imagine that? I said yes like an idiot without thinking about the conspiracy. ”

“Then,” asked Jeeva. Now even Alex was listening.

“S#!t don be so desperate. Wait,” said I and continued, “Then we met at the same place in Egmore. She had booked the room that we first f****d. B***h.”

“Cut the crap. Tell the story,” said Jeeva again.

“And when I went there at about 10.30 after my office…”

“You know what?” she asked.

“Yeah baby I’m all ears,” said I lighting my first cigarette. She came close to me took the cigarette of my lips. Our lips were close together.

“But you like the smell don’t you?” I said.

“Ya but someone here doesn’t like it.”

I was confused, “Who else is there?” said and grabbed her closer by holding on to her slender waist. She had a nice little waist line. I like the moment I slid through her waist. Such smooth curve it produces.

“You know what?” ok b***h come to the point.

“Yea baby i’m waiting,”

“I’m pregnant…” she said.


“What the f**k?” cried Mega and got up. Jeeva came close to me. Alex too closed in.

“Then?” asked Jeeva.

“Then what I thought of the same words Mega said but didn’t tell it out. I looked exasperated. I was damned. I looked at her with my horrifying eyes without knowing what to do. I couldn’t ask her about the pills. I couldn’t ask her about abortion.  I was damned man I was so damned.”

“So what happened?” Jeeva interrupted.

“Seeing me exasperated she started laughing.”

The Stuff Continues…


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