What the *Beep* Part-13

Posted: October 3, 2011 in Movie Reviews

Mercy quit college just before fourth semester study holiday. She invited everyone for a lavish treat. All except us went for the treat. As soon as I said that I won’t be attending, Arun and Raj also didn’t go. We didn’t speak a word about Mercy afterwards.

I went to my house during study holidays where I did nothing except eating and sleeping. I did my exams as bad as always. To my horror I flunked in an exam in fourth semester. That too in Maths. My parents being toppers during their term couldn’t digest the fact that their son failed.

Me: F*** man. Is failing such a big mistake?

Arun: Leave it dude, parents won’t understand that there is no career without an arrear.

Me: They’re counseling me as if I’ve raped a girl.

Raj: It’s ok, leave it. At least this semester you both sit and study well.

Arun: Do you want me to talk to your parents.

I came to know the value of my friends only at that time. They were so concerned. Arun, in spite of having four arrears consoled me whereas it must have been the other way around.

So in that semester I prepared somewhat better than the previous semesters. I got 75.6%, my highest till then. My friends and I were really happy. We decided to celebrate the occasion.

Arun: Guys this calls for a party.

Me: Let’s not go to the bar and waste money. We’ll party right here in our house.

Raj: No way. What if Rabia sees?

Arun: You both have talked not more than ten words? What if she sees? Nothing is gonna happen.

Me: Enough enough. I’ll arrange some other place.

It took us 2 months to convince Varun to allow us to booze in his place. We had planned to booze on a Friday but our HOD came with a bad news as always. She announced on Monday that we would be having our practical exam on that Saturday. The whole week we planned about alternatives but nothing struck our mind.

Me: S*** man in spite of planning so much we won’t be able to booze.

Arun: You are to be blamed. You planned and planned but now what’s the use.

Me: I took so much effort to plan but all I get is this.

Arun: Leave it. Let me complete my record at least.

Me: Wait! Let’s keep the plan alive. Anyways we won’t be able to get centum and they won’t fail us in practicals. So why not?

Raj: Are you crazy man?

Arun: First time you’re talking like a man Vikram. Let’s do it.

Raj: Guys I think we’re talking a big risk.

Me: It’s ok. Let’s take risk at least once.

The week went in a jiffy. I wrote what all items are to be bought and handed it over to Arun and Raj. The Friday came and we set off to Varun’s room.

Me: Ok Raj you go to TASMAC with Arun I’ll buy side dish.

Raj: No no what if someone spots me there. You go man please.

Me: Huh ok. You go buy side dish. Two chilly beef and two chicken fried rice.

Raj: Ok fine.

Arun and I went to TASMAC.

Me: Dude I’m afraid can you go and buy.

Arun: Huh everyone around me is a d***. Why the hell are you leader of the gang?

Me: When did I say that I’m the leader of this gang?

Arun: Ok give the money. What to buy?

Me: One Romanov full or MGM Apple.

We settled in Varun’s house at 9PM.

Varun: I’m afraid. I’ve never touched liquor before.

Me: It’s ok man even we haven’t.

Raj: Should we first eat or drink?

Arun: What’s the ratio of mixing?

Me: Don’t worry guys main hoon na. I’ll handle everything.

Raj: Oh Shit.

Me: What happened?

Raj: I’ve Rabia’s flat key. They asked me to keep it until they come home.

Me: By any chance are you trying to escape.

Raj: No. Even I’m desperate. Will come back in half an hour, wait for me.

We all were staring at our respective quarter Vodka bottles. Raj came by 9:30 with a tiffin box in his hand

Me: Wow mutton biryani. Great man!

Arun: Shall we start?

We mixed vodka with limca in 1:3 ratios and said cheers.

Varun: Hey why is he dull?

Arun: What happened? Tell me soon.

Raj narrated the flash back.

Flash back

Raj: Sorry Dadi I was at my friends place for project work. So couldn’t come on time.

Old lady: It’s ok beta. Give me the key.

Raj: Here it is.

Raj helped the old lady with the luggage and while he was about to go the old lady stopped him.

Old lady: Rabia wants to tell you something? Are you in a hurry?

Raj: No dadi what’s that?

Old lady: Ask her, she’s not telling it to me.

Raj: Yes Rabia.

Rabia: Raj, thumko ek baat batana hae (I want to tell you something)

Raj: baat?

Rabia: Haan telling you.

Raj: Oh you want to tell me something.  Yes what’s that?

Raj was very excited.

Rabia: Feeling shy Raj.

Raj: It’s ok Rabia, tell me. Spit it out.

Rabia: Spit?

Raj: I mean tell me soon.

Raj was perspiring from top to bottom.

Rabia: Mein pregnant hoon. (I’m pregnant)

Raj: Who’s pregnant?

Rabia: I, pregnant.

Raj: What the *beep*. But, how?

Rabia: I’m feeling shy. Kya thum merae sasumako bol sakthae ho? (Can you tell it to my mother in law?)

Cut to present scene

We all laughed our a** out.

Arun: All these days you didn’t know that she’s married eh? Hahahahaha

Raj: How am I supposed to know? She’s just 19.

Me: Oh my god I can’t control my laughter. And you said that yours is divine love. Hahaha

Raj: Enough man. Let’s get drunk. Come on.

Me: Good that she gave you biryani at least.

We all took our glass to say cheers.

Varun: Who’ll drink first?

Arun: Our leader.

Me: Why it’s always me. Anyways ok.

Saying so, I emptied the glass in one go. All were staring at me.

Raj: You drink like a profession drunkard.

Varun: How is it? Is it tasty?

Me: Feels like drinking paint. My lungs are flaming up.

We finished our respective bottle after half an hour.

Me: Dude I’m feeling dizzy let me sleep.

Arun: Why the hell nothing is happening to me.

Arun snatched Varun’s drink and drank it. Then he too fell asleep.

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