What the *Beep* Part-1

Posted: October 3, 2011 in Movie Reviews
Tags: , ,


Pyaar hua ikraar hua  …

Me: *Beep*

Arun: *Beep*

Raj: What? What?

It’s time to get up the time is 7:35” (In a hoarse voice, my cell phone alarm rang)

Me(Yawning): How many times should I ask you to change that f****** condom music of yours man

Arun: You f***** stop commenting on his alarm. Your phone doesn’t even have a proper alarm tone. All you have is a voice of a eunuch from Pandora.

Raj: *Yawn* Morning guys. By the way what’s Pandora and where did that eunuch come from.

Me and Arun: *sigh*


At the bus stop

Me: For this f****** college we’ve to get up at early morning 7:30.

Raj: Correction, 7:35.

Arun: Before even going to college how do you claim it to be a f***** college man.

Bus arrives and we board the bus in a hurry. But we find out only we 3 people are there inside the bus.

Arun(in a sarcastic tone): Whoa what a bus, feels like being in Boeing 747.

Raj: What’s Boeing and what’s 747?

Me: *Sigh*

Arun: Dude get laid…

Raj: Man I don’t even have a girlfriend. How am I supposed to get laid?

Me: Dude it’s a phrase to … k drop it. Let’s get down.

Raj(to himself): You and your ideologies…

Arun: What?

Raj: Nothing. By the way why there are only a few people in the bus.

Me: Yea, today is a holiday for seniors so only we’ll be there in the college.

Arun: Good for us. We should check out the whole college for chicks. Things might get complicated from tomorrow. (With a wink)  You know what I mean ….

Raj & Me: Yea… Rightly said.


Arun: What the hell was that place while we were coming to college. Such a stench. Shit.

Raj: Ha ha. Scentu factory.

Arun: What?

Raj(in a mocking manner): It’s a phraseeeeee dude, it’s a phrase. Now can you understand how your phrases are such a pain in a**.

Me: Guys it’s just the first year. We have to come by this road for the whole 4 years. So no other go. Adjust.


After breakfast

Arun: How the hell are we to locate our class man?

Raj: Here it is…

Me: May I come in sir

HOD: You’re late by 23 seconds.

Arun, Raj and Me (in mind voice): What the *Beep*

Raj: Sorry mam we got a bit late (as if she doesn’t know) due to crowd in the canteen.

HOD: OK come in. Remember class is more important than canteen.

Me: I can’t miss my breakfast for that b****.

Luckily we got the last row because generally rows will get filled up from the last. Very much like cinema hall. But there was one guy who was already sitting there.

Varun: Hi guys! Thank god at last I got some company.

Raj (with a smirk): You’ll regret it later dude.

HOD: What’s the noise there? Already you came late and now you’re disturbing the class.

Raj (from the corner of his mouth): Has the class already started?

Varun: No.

Raj: Then why …

HOD: The last person. Introduce yourself.

HOD was pointing me

Me: Hi, I’m Vikram from SBOA. My hobbies are cricket and movies.

Arun: Hey I’m Arun from St.Stephens. Just now I’ve come out of pulp fiction and I’m a cinephile.

Raj: Hi I’m Raj. I’m from Hindu higher sec. school. I like watching cricket and playing WWE.

The whole class including us started laughing. He didn’t realize his mistake we didn’t point it out too. Meanwhile this guy, Varun was busy preparing his ’about me’.

Varun: Hi guys I’m Varun and I’m not a terrorist.

The whole class erupted again.

HOD: Do you mind explaining.

Varun: Mam India is a developing country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters

Arun (Mind voice): Then who the hell will he f***

Me: Oh oh. We’ve got a slime in our row.

Varun (continuing): India’s GDP is less than ……

Bla bla it went on and on. All of us were staring at him. We were relieved as bell rang finally. Our HOD was mighty impressed with this guy. After that I scanned the whole class. I realized that the next 4 years is gonna be hell.


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